Episode 6: Medical Gaslighting
The Support and Kindness Podcast with Greg and Rich
Episode 6: Medical Gaslighting
Hosts: Greg, Rich, Jay
In this episode, Greg, Rich, and guest host Jay explore medical gaslighting – when healthcare providers dismiss, minimize, or invalidate legitimate medical concerns. They discuss how time pressures, insurance constraints, and systemic biases contribute to the problem, and share practical strategies to advocate for yourself in medical settings.
Jay recounts a personal experience with cyclical vomiting syndrome and hospital care, Rich reflects on navigating traumatic brain injury (TBI) and the importance of self-advocacy, and Greg highlights his current struggle with chronic fatigue and the need for timely follow-ups.
The conversation also examines the potential role of AI in diagnostics, the emotional toll of feeling unheard, and disparities affecting minority groups – particularly Black women in maternal care.
Key Quotes and Noteworthy Observations:
Greg:
- “Some of the common things that a provider might say… ‘It’s probably just stress,’ ‘You’re a bit young to have that problem,’ ‘You might just need to lose weight.’”
- “I’m chronically fatigued… I can’t live like this. It’s not working for me.”
- Observation: Greg underscores how dismissive language erodes trust and delays proper care, and he highlights a powerful statistic about maternal health disparities affecting Black women. He also emphasizes post-appointment actions like seeking second opinions, filing complaints when necessary, and connecting with patient advocacy groups.
Rich:
- “You get so little time with the doctor… They don’t listen, they interrupt you, they diminish your symptoms before you’ve had an opportunity to really explain.”
- “I had to continually advocate for myself… Bringing somebody else along helps. Bringing a journal helped.”
- Observation: Rich connects medical gaslighting to insurance-driven time and testing constraints, noting providers often feel stuck between patients and insurers. He offers practical, concise communication strategies to make every minute count.
Jay:
- “I have something called cyclical vomiting syndrome… It took a long time for them to diagnose it. They immediately went with assumptions because I was young.”
- “One of the best things I ever did… was to ask for a pain specialist… He understood I had a high tolerance and that he would take care of it.”
- Observation: Jay’s story shows how persistence and specific requests (like involving a pain specialist) can change the trajectory of care. He also points out the insurance cliff at age 26 and the value of bringing a trusted advocate—even a parent—to appointments.
Main Points:
- What is medical gaslighting: A term people use for feeling that their symptoms or concerns have been dismissed or minimized. A difficult encounter does not by itself establish intentional manipulation; uncertainty, error and bias need to be considered without dismissing the patient’s experience.
- Systemic factors:
- Insurance constraints limit visit length and tests, pressuring physicians and rushing appointments.
- Profit motives can conflict with patient outcomes.
- Bias disproportionately affects minority groups; Black women face significantly higher risks in maternal care.
- Lived experiences:
- Jay faced misdiagnoses and delayed imaging that revealed hernias; advocating for a pain specialist made a difference.
- Rich navigated TBI care with initial dismissal, improving outcomes through persistence, journaling, and bringing a supporter.
- Greg is dealing with chronic fatigue and administrative hurdles delaying care.
- AI in medicine:
- Potential benefits: faster pattern recognition, improved consistency in imaging and diagnostic support.
- Risks: overreliance, possible misdiagnoses, lack of emotional context; must complement—not replace—human clinical judgment.
- Emotional impact:
- Being dismissed can feel like questioning your sanity; self-care and support networks matter.
- Advocacy strategies:
- Prepare: Write down symptoms, timelines, and questions before appointments.
- Communicate clearly: Use specific, concise language; ask direct questions like “What else could be causing this?”
- Bring support: A trusted person can observe, remember, and speak up.
- Document: Keep a symptom journal and track tests, results, and dates.
- Request appropriate specialists when needed (e.g., pain management, neurology).
- Seek second opinions if you feel dismissed.
- Use patient portals thoughtfully; follow up if results are delayed.
- Consider patient advocacy groups; file complaints when care is inadequate.
- Balance continuity and change: Stick with good providers; don’t stay too long with dismissive ones.
Top Takeaways:
- You are your best advocate: Preparation, documentation, and persistence can counter rushed visits and dismissal.
- Don’t go it alone: Bring someone who can observe and help communicate.
- Ask for the right expertise: Request specialists when pain or complex symptoms aren’t being addressed.
- Bias is real: Minority groups, women—especially Black women in maternal care—face heightened risk; be proactive and seek supportive providers.
- AI is a tool, not a solution: It may improve diagnostics, but it can’t replace human listening and care.
Practical Checklist for Your Next Appointment:
- Before:
- Write a concise symptom timeline (onset, frequency, triggers, impact).
- List top 3 questions and what outcomes you want (tests, referrals, next steps).
- Gather prior records and test results.
- During:
- Lead with your main concern and how it affects everyday life.
- Ask what else could explain the symptoms and what the next step will be if the first approach does not help.
- Ask whether a specialist referral would be appropriate.
After the appointment
- Review the visit notes and any results you receive.
- Ask when outstanding results are expected and who to contact if they do not arrive.
- Consider a second opinion or patient advocacy support if important concerns remain unresolved.
For a practical preparation guide, see the National Institute on Aging’s appointment checklist. This episode shares lived experience, not a diagnosis or individual medical advice.
Contact and credits
Hosts: Greg and Rich, with guest host Jay. Send us a question or suggest a future topic.
Evidence and limits
CDC’s 2024 U.S. maternal mortality report, published in 2026, reports 44.8 deaths per 100,000 live births among non-Hispanic Black women, compared with 14.2 among non-Hispanic White women. These population figures document a disparity; they cannot establish the cause of a particular person’s outcome or prove intentional mistreatment.
The hosts’ experiences do not mean every disagreement with a clinician is gaslighting. Ask for the reasoning, alternatives and follow-up plan, and seek a second opinion when available. Self-advocacy cannot remove every access barrier, and poor care is not a patient’s fault for failing to speak up. AI output is not an independent diagnosis. For new, severe or rapidly worsening symptoms, seek timely medical care rather than waiting for an online discussion or routine appointment.